This is allegedly a genuine list of post flight complaints from airline pilots together with the ground mechanics responses.
Extract from “The Civil Service Pensioner”.

Lunch stop on walk around Sierra de Olta

Lunch stop on walk around Sierra de Olta Whilst at the Cottesmore Dance Weekend in Rutland last September we were asked if we would like to join a Leicester group for a DIY week in Calpe on the Costa Blanca, dancing in the evenings to CDs and walking/sightseeing during the days. Googling Calpe soon showed the potential of this area for walking, so we said yes. The trip was the idea of George Shepherd. We all booked our own flights from a variety of airports and airlines but all landing at Alicante on the same morning. George booked all the accommodation and coaches, each of us suggested 7 dances, Doris Buchanan sorted these out into programs for each evening, Greg sorted out the music CDs, Keith prepared crib sheets, and a rota of MCs was drawn up.

We landed in Alicante on a very grey and wet February morning and were relieved to meet the other 42 dancers/partners in the arrivals lounge. Luckily the weather soon cleared and it was warm and sunny for most of the rest of the week.

We danced in a generously sized ballroom. After the first evening the hotel put out tables for us and opened up the bar in there. Two of the young waiters watched with interest and were persuaded to join in one of the ceilidh dances. These had been put on the programme for the benefit of the non-dancing spouses. There was often a small group of curious spectators, other guests and staff at the hotel, who popped in to see what Scottish dancing was like. There were 14 dances on the programme each evening, with a short break in the middle. Because everybody had suggested their favourites, most dances were well known and not many needed to be taught. The biggest problem was dancing on a full stomach immediately after the generous hotel buffets.

During the day, George had organised two optional coach trips to places of local interest such as markets, both general and fish, spectacular old inland hilltop towns, waterfalls and a bodega. Two walks were also led into the local hills. They proved very popular and were a lot of fun.

On the last evening we held a ceilidh and invited a ballroom dancing group who were also on holiday in the same hotel. We all had an enjoyable evening and we learnt some new dances. At the end of the evening, the ballroom dancers commented on how energetic they had found Scottish dancing to be.

All too soon it was time to board the bus to return to Alicante airport. We really enjoyed our week in Calpe, and were ready for a rest at home.